Edna Buchanan has said, “Friends are the family we choose for ourselves.” Thankfully, we have the option to choose our friends. Family is, for the most part, forced upon us. In fact, if we had the option of picking, we probably wouldn’t pick some of them.
What is left of my family is fairly local. Most reside in Simi Valley and Thousand Oaks, about 30 minutes away. However I have a cousin who moved his family to the state of Washington a few years ago. He’s in town for a visit this weekend so a gathering at his brother’s house was scheduled for yesterday. I looked forward to seeing my visiting cousin as well as my aunt, who I am also close with. The rest? Well let’s just say that I always have high hopes at the beginning of family get-togethers. By then end, I remember why they frustrate me so much. Between the excessive smoking, drinking, and internet gambling, the children who have had children they can neither afford nor do they want to take care of, the abusive (both mentally and physically) relationships, the dropping out of school, the lack of housekeeping skills, the amount of conversations that begin with “I posted on Facebook,” and the utter disregard of taking care of one’s health, my family is a mess. I’m not saying I’m a prize, but by the time I leave a gathering like this I feel like I’ve just visited the Clampetts.
My family is very small – just my mom and I in the immediate. I have an aunt and three cousins (along with their spouses and children) on my dad’s side. That’s it. Which is why, I think, I continue to make the effort with them. Sometimes I have this overwhelming fear about losing my mom and not having anymore family left. These visits don’t do anything to squelch that fear.
(chuckle) Buck up Missy. No one leaves a gathering like that with a good taste in their mouths. And no ones family is any prize when taken in any volume, in any meaning of that word you may think of. Imaging being a non drinker. Academically oriented, or uninterested in field sports. That's my life. I'll bet you if you meet them in their own space they are far far more relaxed, for that high doe expectation is just bound to drive everyone absolutely haywire. I'll bet you you didn't come out of the encounter with gilt edged references either.
ReplyDeleteAnd being related to the Clampetts given all that Texas Tea wouldn't be so bad. The Griswold on the other hand, now they're scary.
The simple way to get them on-side is visit them with presents for the kids.
Next time, when any of the parents annoy the crap out of you begin feeding their kids with sweets. By going home time you should have them hyped enough to have them zinging off walls.
What could you possibly mean? I am a pleasure to be around. ;)
DeleteYa, we're just so very different and I have such little tolerance for people who make the same poor decisions over and over and over and over again. Even though I do, it's hard to hold my tongue and keep my opinions to myself.
Patterns are very dangerous things. Sometimes they take over entire regions and convert the people within to it's weft or weave. Detroit is a prime example. Moving sometimes solves it. But usually not, for you end up in the same sort of society albeit in a different place. It will be amazing to read the studies that will come out about the refugees of Katrina that moved to Colorado and Seattle. Usually though the method in the US to smash patterns is enlistment in the forces
DeleteThe Clampetts! I loved Granny : ). I hope your relatives live in a mansion just like that one.
ReplyDeleteI really love my extended family. My Mom has 4 brothers and one sisters. I like almost all of their kids. We get together once a summer and every year I get annoyed by the fact that we have to drive 5 hours to get to the reunion. Once I get there though, all annoyances are forgotten. The kids have so much playing with one another. It always turns out to be one of our favorite days of the summer.
Hopefully you won't have to see them for a while. Maybe they will change.
No, that's not what I mean by the Clampetts. Ah, I don't mind seeing them and we still have fun when we get together, it is just hard to watch them in poor situations created by their own hand.
DeleteI have been lucky with my extended family, but then we rarely see each other. I took my Sister in law to the emergency room Monday and see that she is a hypochondriac with a low threshold of pain. It turned out she had a virus.
ReplyDeleteI just adore my aunt. And it kills me that she has to watch her kids and grandkids live the way they live. With the exception of a small handful, they've all gone down a difficult path. I know it breaks her heart.
DeleteYikes! I have just a few family left also...my sister is it besides my children and husband. The far off relatives are akin to yours...uh!
ReplyDeleteOh yes...there is the really coffee shop from Seinfeld although they never filmed inside of this one, only used the outside...and then I accidentally deleted your comment...so if you happen to go back I did enjoy what you had...and then stupidly hit delete....so sorry!
Lord, if you saw our guest room you would die!
ReplyDelete