Poetry

Poetry was never really my cup of tea. I took "Poetry" in high school and it was a killer to my G.P.A. I enjoyed a few of the classical poets like Yeats and Byron, but for the most part the pressure of having to find symbolism and write essays about poems chosen by the teacher made me want to just shoot myself in the head.

Now that I am an adult and can read what I wish, I have read some poetry that I really like. I subscribe to the Writer's Almanac with Garrison Keillor and a new poem is sent to my inbox on a daily basis. A few years ago I was introduced to Billy Collins through the Writer's Alamanac and I think he is my favorite poet. He writes with humor, even on serious topics, that makes reading his poems more fun. This is my favorite...

The Lanyard

The other day as I was ricocheting slowly

off the pale blue walls of this room,

bouncing from typewriter to piano,

from bookshelf to an envelope lying on the floor,

I found myself in the L section of the dictionary

where my eyes fell upon the word lanyard.

No cookie nibbled by a French novelist

could send one more suddenly into the past --

a past where I sat at a workbench at a camp

by a deep Adirondack lake

learning how to braid thin plastic strips

into a lanyard, a gift for my mother.

I had never seen anyone use a lanyard

or wear one, if that’s what you did with them,

but that did not keep me from crossing

strand over strand again and again

until I had made a boxy

red and white lanyard for my mother.

She gave me life and milk from her breasts,

and I gave her a lanyard.

She nursed me in many a sickroom,

lifted teaspoons of medicine to my lips,

set cold face-cloths on my forehead,

and then led me out into the airy light

and taught me to walk and swim,

and I, in turn, presented her with a lanyard.

Here are thousands of meals, she said,

and here is clothing and a good education.

And here is your lanyard, I replied,

which I made with a little help from a counselor.

Here is a breathing body and a beating heart,

strong legs, bones and teeth,

and two clear eyes to read the world, she whispered,

and here, I said, is the lanyard I made at camp.

And here, I wish to say to her now,

is a smaller gift--not the archaic truth

that you can never repay your mother,

but the rueful admission that when she took

the two-tone lanyard from my hands,

I was as sure as a boy could be

that this useless, worthless thing I wove

out of boredom would be enough to make us even.

I hope you find it as good as I do.

Flipping Out, Episode 3

That Jeff Lewis cracks me up. Here's a recap of Episode 3's craziness.

While visiting Ryan’s, his investment partner, office…

Jeff: This is so professional. You all have your own desk and your own computers. You don’t have three people sharing one desk and one computer. It looks like a real office.

Ryan: It is a real office Jeff. What did you think?

Jeff (in interview): In regards to the work environment between Ryan’s office and my office we run our offices a little differently. I think the atmosphere seems to be a little more tense in my home.

Jeff: There’s no dogs running around or barking. You guys must get a lot of work done here.

Ryan: We try. Don’t you think something like this would be nice for you and Jenny? Even this (pointing to the desk he sat at) it’s like you could still yell at her from over the little separator.

Jeff: This is way too professional for us. Where’s your sassy Nicaraguan housekeeper?

Jeff (in interview): It’s like too perfect over there. I don’t know, I just question it. I just question it. It’s like that family next door where everybody is like hot, and happy, and working hard which makes me think there’s something wrong. Then there’s my family. At least, ya know, we keep it real over here. We’re screaming at each other. We’re threatening each other. We’re quitting. We’re firing. Um, it just seems to me like that’s really the way a work environment should be.

When Chris comes back from the bank…

Jeff: Remember Chris, I like all the 20s facing same direction. See what is happening here, I have to now redo it all.

While looking at an investment property with Jenny…

Jeff: I’m hearing kids, screaming kids. Are we over a school?
Jenny: I don’t know, maybe.
Jeff: The price just went down fifty grand.
Jenny: Just by one scream?
Jeff: Ya, fifty grand per kid.


While Jeff was on the way home from buying nanny-cams for his house…
Ryan: When are you going to be at Valley Oak?
Jeff: Listen Ryan, I don’t know why you are bringing up that right now, this is really important.
Ryan: It’s important to you, but it’s not that important to me. Can you have a double session of therapy this morning?
Jeff: This sting operation is the biggest thing I’ve got going.
Ryan: Alright, I don’t want to talk about it anymore.
Jeff: I’m working on catching a culprit is what I’m working on.

Monkeys Here, Monkeys There

After taking a moment to do a little complaining I am now ready to begin the trip stories and I will start with the monkeys.

With the exception of Amsterdam, Monkeys (I am using the term loosely to include all primates) were a a constant on my recent trip. I don't know a lot about Monkeys, but I have come to the conclusion that they can be fairly compared to teenage boys - they're cute, but just a bit naughty too. Here are a few of my most fun monkey stories...

On my first full day in Cape Town we traveled around the Cape Peninsula which is just gorgeous with many little beachy towns along the way. We made it to the Cape of Good Hope which is the south-westernmost point in Africa.

It was just beautiful! However I was very surprised to see both ostriches and baboons in this rocky beach area. Since this post is about monkeys and not ostriches, I will just say that it was quite strange to see these very large birds walking along the beach...who knew?

The entire trip around the peninsula we warned not to feed the baboons and that they were dangerous. We were told that if we saw baboons we shouldn't stop the car for too long and if/when we were stopped under no uncertain circumstances were we to open the windows. And well, this would be why...

The baboons climb all over anything that stops, reach inside, and steal bags, sodas, food, cameras, etc. Once they have something, the run away with it and you are hard pressed to get it back. Something interesting about these particular baboons - they are apparently the only baboons who eat fish and shell fish.

In Kruger National Park game reserve, which is in the northern part of South Africa, we stayed in a bush camp. The camps are basically just areas of the reserve that have been fenced in. The larger animals don't seem to get in, but there were still all sorts of animals inside the camp - impala, baboons, vervet monkeys, bats (there was even one in my sink).

We got up very early in the morning to take a morning game drive and had a second game drive in the late afternoon. The rest of our day was spent around camp and we were lucky enough to have the monkeys (and sometimes baboons) visit us each afternoon. I could spend all day with my camera just watching the vervet monkeys. They are so cute and awfully busy. However they are also nosey and don't seem to have a fear in the world. They often rummaged through bags and the trash cans nearby.

There was one particular male monkey who liked to visit. He sat on the patio deck of the bungalow and let us get pretty close to him. However, he gave us quite a show. Let's just say he was not the master of his domain...

At this point I called out, "He has blue balls!" Who knew? Anyways, as I said he liked to visit and was very uninhibited...

But seriously, as naughty as they were, we couldn't get enough of them. Isn't he the cutest thing you've ever seen?


The guides and employees of the camp pretty much left these guys alone, but the baboons in the park are another story. During one of the afternoons, I sat on the patio watching the animals, writing in my journal when all of a sudden four baboons ran across the grassy area that I was looking out over. Following closely behind was a park employee running after them, chasing them away. After a few minutes, the baboons come racing back the other direction. They passed my bungalow and then slowed down and decided to stop and check the outside refrigerators of the remaining bungalows. They pulled out water and other items and then dropped them and continued running as the park employee came running at them from the other direction. As a spectator, it was very fun to watch, but I am sure they do plenty of damage and wreak havoc on the park if they are not chased away every so often.

The monkeys were also prevalent in Zambia. We were warned to keep all doors and windows closed because they were very brave and would come inside. We weren't there an hour when my mom came back into her room and there was a monkey on the table stealing the sugar packets, and some friends had one in their room sitting on the TV when they walked in after leaving the door open for some air.



Crazy monkeys!