I am truly lucky that in my life I have never had something so extraordinary awful and tragic happen. (Knock on wood) I have gone through some hard emotional times as well as minor illnesses and accidents. So as I write about a tragedy in my life it almost feels lame as I know there are people out there who have been through so much worse. In any case, the sudden death of my dad 5 years ago has greatly effected me as a person in the recent past.
The death of our parents is, of course, a part of life. They are older and will most likely pass away before we do (they wouldn’t want it any other way). However, with my dad it was much too early. I’m the only child and my dad and I were close. Now it’s just my mom and I left in the family. That’s just not enough family. I worry about what happens when my mom is gone. I never did that before my dad died. They were both here and I didn’t worry about it. Now I worry about it all the time. Now I fall apart when I hear about someone else’s parent passing. Now I can’t talk to him when I think of something funny that I know would make him laugh. Now I can’t call him on the phone. Now my dad is gone and I am no longer the person I used to be.