Thursday, June 20, 2013

It’s As If the Word “No” Isn’t Actually In My Vocabulary

It’s 6:30 am and I am about to begin my fourth day of summer “break”.  I use “break” loosely in that even though the last day of school was Friday the 14th, I haven’t actually been on break yet. 

After spending most of last summer moving into and setting up my new classroom what got me through was that this summer was going to be 8 weeks instead of the 6 that I had been used to.  Then in January it was decided that 2nd grade would begin the new Common Core national curriculum in the fall of 2013.  Although I am very much looking forward to transitioning away from teaching to the test, this news means I'm basically waving goodbye to summer break.  As part of a few curriculum committees, I’ve spent this week and (will be) next week working on the new curriculum.  The last few weeks leading up to the meetings, I lamented often about my difficulty saying “no” to additional work.  However, even as summer break approached and I started to regret agreeing to the work, I sucked it up and have been honoring my commitment this week.  Just getting through the two weeks…

My colleagues and I were busy working on various projects when we were pulled together on Tuesday and told that we’d been hired to train teachers outside the district.  Not only did that add work to our already overloaded list of tasks but it also added work days to my summer.  Being surprised, we all smiled kind of and nodded as the blood drained from our faces.  It would have been completely acceptable to say, “No, I’m sorry, I will not be able to do the training.”  But instead, we all rolled our eyes at each other in agreement about the pile of work, bitched about it at lunch, and then returned to our projects. No one said “No”.

Yesterday afternoon, it was like déjà vu.  A few weeks ago our district announced they were holding an optional Common Core training in August.  My team and I signed up, looking forward to some guidance with the new curriculum.  At yesterday’s meeting, we were once again pulled together, and it was casually mentioned that our committee would be presenting the August training.  My jaw dropped to the floor.  A few of my colleagues spoke up about their concern while the rest of us sat anxiety ridden.  Without actually saying “no” these teachers brought up their fear that, even for us, the curriculum is so new and it’s not right to have teachers who are just getting their feet wet with it learn from those of us who are only slightly ahead of the game.  The opinion was heard, but the assumption that we were training stood. 

More bitching ensued at lunch.  A few decided an emphatic “no” was going to be necessary while the rest of us waved our hands frantically and repeated “It’s ok, it’s ok, we’ll just do it.” Later in the afternoon we were brought back together and a few made it clear they were not comfortable with the training and therefore would not be able to do it.  I was so very uncomfortable and never once agreed or disagreed, just staring at my to-do-list wishing the discussion would end.

After all was said and done, the concern was well received and adjustments were made to the training.  However, I am not sure if I’m presenting or not because I never said I wouldn’t.

It’s funny because I don’t tend to be someone who does things I don’t want to do.  I’m not a yes-man and usually don’t have any trouble speaking my mind and being kind of stubborn about my opinion.  But when someone is counting on me (both professionally or personally) I find it so very difficult to say “No, I can’t (or won’t)”.  It probably stems from not wanting to let anyone down, but I tell you what, it’s starting to wear on me a little bit.  I REALLY want to be on summer break. 

18 comments:

  1. I'll need to think and do a bit of reading about this. But to getting along with, 'no good deed ever goes unpunished'. :-)

    [I cannot find the darn volume control on the darn Dell keyboard.

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    1. I'm sorry, is my whining too loud for you? :)

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    2. I don't know what to say about the substance but it seems the vast majority of Styates have moved in that direction. But I'm somewhat stumped that the administration has landed this back on you. And I'm somewhat baffled that the union allowed it without some sort of quid pro quo. For there is no other union that knows just how things can degenerate and words like profession can change to vocation. It should be long past the time when the teaching profession are expected to live on fresh air.
      Anywoos, best of luck.

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    3. It's not really a union issue in that I don't have to do the curriculum work. This is not a requirement to do my job or get my paycheck. I'm the only one making me do it. :) The more I am involved in curriculum the more I get asked to work on it. It is a compliment of sorts, and my stress over it is entirely self inflicted.

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  2. I read your blog, and I see you post things like this, and then I feel sick to my stomach that in my neck of the woods, I'm hearing clueless, dumbass people bitch left and right about how teachers are overpaid, teachers get paid to do nothing over the summer, teachers who strike to attempt to get fair contracts should all be fired, blah, blah, blah. THANK YOU for all that you do, Kimberly, as a teacher. THANK YOU!!

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    1. Thank you, that's very sweet of you to say. Ya know, just like anything else there are good and not so good teachers, but I do think we tend to bear the brunt about a poor system that we have such little control of. I really appreciate your comment. :)

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  3. Not sure if you're on Twitter, but I had to share this post over there. You're a ROCK STAR. Seriously!

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  4. Big sigh. I'm sorry. But once again, you will be the one who is always that much more prepared than the rest of us.

    Now, let me get back to my vacation.

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  5. I understand your pain!! I often have a hard time saying no, also. As you said, it's usually the hardest when something is sprung on you and you don't have the chance to think about it and say no! Be strong and enjoy the time that you do get...

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    1. Yah, unfortunately even when I am given time to think about it, I still don't say it. :). I WILL enjoy it when it comes, but right now it feels like a mirage off in the distance.

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  6. Uh! I do hope you are getting paid for this?!? I am teaching this week and then will teach 2nd in the fall...perhaps I need to come to your training!

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    1. Ohhhhh, you're moving up the maturity food chain. I bet you'll enjoy it!

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  7. Oh my God. They're slavedrivers.

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    1. Ha ha, no, it's not that bad...in fact it's my own fault. It is a compliment, in its own way. :)

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  8. I agree about it being a compliment. I can say no if I need to but I was one of those yes sayers when I was in the workplace.

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    1. I've worked hard for them and I guess it says something that they keep asking. I just have to come to happy medium with myself where my job isn't the only thing I "do". I'm tired.

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