Sunday, April 17, 2016

Trying My Patience

My next door neighbor is a married couple in their mid 50s with three children in their early-to-late 20s.  Over the last year, all three children have found their way back to living in their parents home.  While I pass no judgement on grown kids returning to the nest, this past year has created a slow-burning resentment inside of me for this family.  I'm a super easy neighbor.  I keep to myself, I'm considerate of others, and I have only one car that is parked inside the garage.  This couple, before the kids moved home had three cars - a small sports car (they never use), a mid-size SUV, and a large SUV.  Two in the driveway, one in the street in front of their house.  When the first kid moved back home, there were 4 cars (add a mid-size SUV) - two in the driveway, one in front of their house, and one along the street in between my house and their house.   Since this space in between our houses isn't all that large, none of the SUVs fit all that well there.  So, their car always hangs over into my driveway.  While not that big of a deal, it still irked me some.  But I soon got over it when the 2nd kid moved home.  This time with two additional cars - a truck and work mini van.  With those two, they had two in the driveway, one in front of their house, one in between our houses and two in front of my house.  That's been the case for about 6 months.  That space in front of my house was mostly open (unless I or another neighbor on the street had visitors) so it wasn't that big of a deal, other than annoying to walk outside my door and see these big cars in front of my house.  What was a nuisance was that there wasn't room to set out my trash cans (3 of them) on trash day because their cars blocked the space. On numerous occasions, I had to go over and ask them to move their car so I could put them out.  I hated that.  Confronting people you have to live next to is awkward.  The sons always moved the cars with an apology, so I tried hard not to get irritated.  Then one week, I noticed that a seventh car had arrived - a brand new large SUV - two in their driveway, one in front of their house, one in between our houses and THREE in front of my house.  I was out walking the dog and the dad apologized for all the cars.  I jokingly (sort of) said, "You keep adding more!"  He said, they had bought the wife the new one and one of the sons was selling his small SUV and acquiring the mom's old large SUV.  So after about a week, we were back to the previous set up for six cars.  Then, last month, the 3rd kid has arrived home with a small SUV.  So now we are back to seven cars in all, four of them in front of my house.  They've been better about not parking there on trash days, but the fact that they have four cars in front of my house - more than are in front of theirs - is bothering me.  But I just fake a smile and chuckle when they apologize about it.  What else can I do?
The good news is when I pulled out of the driveway this morning, all the stuff in their garage - oh did  I mention that they weren't using their garage for any of the cars because it was full of stuff - was in the driveway, and they were putting it into a moving trailer.  The dad stopped me and said at least two of the cars would be gone by the end of the week.  One of the sons is moving out and I think the sports car will be put back in the garage.  Fingers crossed!!

10 comments:

  1. It's kinda hard to comment here. It's clearly pissing you off, but how far along that road you are is where I'm sorta caught. Have you passed a point where they are impinging on your thoughts when you are inside your home. Or is it simply something that enters your mind only when you are 'actively' seeing it.

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    1. It's not all the time. Just when I see the cars sitting in front if my house or when I can't get the trash out. And a little bit when driving home on trash day, worried that the trash will be blocked and I'll have to go over and ask them, again, to move.
      I think the thing that bothers me most is that there are other places to park in the neighborhood that aren't in front of anyone's house. They could park there without inconveniencing anyone, except themselves as they might have to walk more than a few steps to and from the car. Their convenience seems to take precedent over the rest of the neighborhood. That's most irritating!

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  2. Geez. I know this would irritate me to no end, but I tend to be "big talk, little do" and would be hesitant to confront them about it. But still... it's totally out of hand! (especially considering your comment above that there are other places they could park)

    I, too, would find it most worrisome on garbage day AND... what about when you host book club? Your guests shouldn't have to park down the road and walk!

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    1. I know, they shouldn't!! I have to keep telling myself that it's not a big deal and that if this is all I have to worry about, I'm lucky. :) But it still irks me. Lack of consideration irks me a lot.

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  3. ugh! when we moved to the suburbs I had this distorted reality that a neighbor would stop by just to say hi.. blah blah. Instead when my contractor left his trailer parked on the street in front of my house and in now way causing anyone any inconveniences a neighbor called the police! Twice in the span of our three month renovations

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    1. Ya know, I have lived in the suburbs all my life and haven't ever had that neighbor experience. I keep to myself and don't want anyone up in my business, so I probably bring it on myself. I'm cordial, say hi, will chat for bit if we're outside at the same time. But not too much more than that. I'd NEVER call the cops on something like that or this or pretty much anything unless someone was being hurt.
      I think some people would make a problem for you regardless, it's just who they are. If you weren't having work done, they'd be mad that you weren't, ya know.

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  4. I recall the words of Robert Frost: "Good fences make good neighbors." In your case a fence would do you little good. Honestly, though, I recommend directness. My neighbors from across the street left a nasty note on one of my cars one time about parking in front of their driveway, apparently making it difficult for them to get out. It was when all our kids were still
    home and we had a lot of company. From that day, I was careful never to do it again and asked our guests to act accordingly. The note hurt my feelings a bit and if they had just knocked on my door and expressed their concern, I would have gladly obliged, as I did not know I was bothering them.

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    1. I don't understand the being nasty part. There are horror stores out there about nightmare neighbors, and that's what I'm trying to avoid by grinning and bearing it. They are aware of how I feel and other neighbors have mentioned it as well. I'll just blog about it, share my frustrations, and they're none the wiser. :) My pleasant face can remain when I interact with them. It's been 24 hours and there is one section in front of my house without a car in it! Tomorrow I put the trash out, so I'm hoping I can do that too!

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  5. I've been trying to figure a way round the dilemma of you grinding your teeth, or being passive aggressive or even full-on aggressive. You'll need a bit of help though.
    Why don't you tell the neighbours you are having people over most days for the next fortnight. Say, given the city you're in, a yoga class. If they are decent people, and it seems they are generally fairly OK, they will leave the spaces open. Then by the time the two weeks are over you'll have created a habit for them parking elsewhere.

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    1. It's actually funny you should mention that. For the last few weeks I've had various work done on the house and the first set of workers had no place to park. I did have to say something and have since told them when the new set was coming so there was room. Since they were mostly gone for work during the day, they made sure they were gone before the workers came. Of course in the evening when the workers were gone, they were back. :)

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