Monday, October 14, 2013

And Then I Screamed Bloody Murder

Late Saturday night while getting ready for bed I entered the bathroom and was joined by the biggest bug I have ever seen.  I’m not a fan of bugs, but can hold my own ridding them from the house.  While I might let out a yelp when tracking down a spider, I can kick a cricket’s ass without batting an eye because they make me mad when they come into my house making all that noise. 

Saturday’s bug however was basically a monster.  It was huge!  I screamed like a little girl and ran out of the bathroom closing the door behind me while I figured out a plan.  I armed myself with a magazine and a bag-lined trash can and went back inside the bathroom.  It scurried next to my feet as I screamed and closed the door again, afraid it was going to run out into the house and I’d never find it.  Closed inside, I wasn’t quite sure what I was going to do as just stepping on it or squashing it wasn’t it option being that it was the size of my fist.  First, I covered it with the trashcan.  I thought about leaving it there until I moved it died, but I knew I wouldn’t sleep well knowing it was under there.  There were various attempts to collect it on the magazine or grab it with my hand inside the bag all resulting in me screaming at the top of my lungs and the bug ending up wiggling wildly on its back.  FINALLY, I used the magazine to shovel the bug into the trashcan and then dumped it into the flushing toilet, again screaming like a mad woman.  I took a sigh of relief when the bug didn’t resurface in the toilet, but I flushed it again, just to be safe. 

Even though I was very glad to move out of a condo and into my house, there was a part of me that was a little bit nervous about not sharing a wall with my neighbors anymore.  I felt like if I were ever being attacked by a robber or a murderer, at least in the condo someone would hear me scream.  In a house I wasn’t so sure.  That is until Saturday night.  About 10 or 15  minutes after the giant bug’s demise, there was a knock at my door and then the doorbell rang.  Now it was after midnight at this time.  If it were possible, my anxiety level jumped.  Who could possibly be at my door at this time of night and how could they possibly think I would open the door at this time of night.  I tiptoed to the guestroom to look outside the window.  There was a police car blocking my driveway.  I don’t know if that made me feel better or worse.  I went to the door and without opening it called out, “Yes”.  Through the door the officer told me there had been reports of screaming and he needed to check if everything was alright. 

To make a long story short, my bathroom and bedroom window were open and the screams during the giant bug murder were heard by my next-door neighbors who in turned called the police.  To my credit, I think the officer found my excuse amusing, but I was terribly embarrassed in explaining the situation. 

So clearly, I had nothing to worry about no longer living in a condo, but I’ll tell you what, it took a long time to get to sleep that  night. 

12 comments:

  1. And you didn't snap a picture? Ha! Ha! Another hilarious story !!

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    1. Ha ha! If only I could have thought about the blog while this was all happening and pulled out my phone. Sadly it wasn't a good story until after the deputy left.

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  2. (chuckle) so you put on your big girl pants and you deserve a big hug and pat on the back for producing that degree of moxy. But still while giving you the hug I would be laughing too. Hell I'm doing so at this distance.

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    1. I know right?!?! Kind of a baby. It was a huge bug though. :)

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    2. Not at all. Fears aren't something to ignore. But going back in, now that displayed gumption.
      The chuckle was for the scream and that it must have been sustained, the phone call and the poor cop at the door. But mostly thinking of you having to explain to the fellow. And to widen my grin I think the cop as female.

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    3. Ha ha! No, thankfully not a woman. That would have been worse than animal control showing up as a woman.
      Ya, clearly it was a lot of loud screaming. But I don't think I sounded like I was being attacked. Who knows though. As I said above, I wasn't thinking about it when it was happening. I should be grateful that I have neighbors who care enough to be concerned. Unless of course I've ruined it by "crying wolf".

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  3. Now that is funny. Did you hear about the girl who called 911 because there was a spider on her couch? Yep, a cop came and killed it!

    I did scream at work once when I tried to trap a mouse- I had him cornered and had a trash can to cover him and then he bolted and even though I knew he was there I screamed very loudly! the janitor heard me outside...but thankfully it was 6:30 a.m. and we were the only people there...so I wasn't too embarrassed.

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    1. Ha! No I didn't. That reminds me - when I was in high school there were 4 of us girls swimming at a friend's house when a rattlesnake slithered into the backyard. We didn't know what to do so called the fire station down the road. They sent the truck, the engine, and the paramedic truck to save us. They enjoyed every minute of it. We did too. :)

      I think it's those quick movements that get me when I'm tracking a wild animal. That always makes me scream.

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  4. Well this made me laugh and brought me out of the dumps that I have been wallowing. We have jumping spiders here and they really travel with their jumping. I thought I could squash it with some toilet paper but when it jumped toward me, I jumped. I managed to get it with bug spray.

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    1. Oh no, I'm sorry you are in the dumps these days. I hope everything is ok.
      Oh ya, a jumping spider would TOTALLY push me over the edge. I can take care of them when they walk or even run, but jumping would definitely cause some screaming.

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  5. I find a huge tarantula last time we went to our house and screamed. I understand your fear!

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    1. A tarantula? Oh dear! Is that common there? Anything big enough that sounds like bones (exoskeleton) are breaking and has guts that squirt out is not acceptable to step on. It gives me the willies just thinking about it.

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