The family Thanksgiving dinner took place at my cousin’s house this year. Thankfully, it was a low key affair. The non-crazies out numbered the crazies this go round which made for a short nice, uneventful Thanksgiving. The calm nature of the day allowed me to solve a mystery of sorts.
My cousin’s wife Cheryl has made a Thanksgiving green bean casserole for as long as I can remember. I’ve never been a fan of green bean casserole. I think it’s the cream of mushroom soup which has a very distinct flavor and kind of takes over anything that it’s in. Anyhow, I’ve always quietly passed it over when making my plate without making mention of it (and without anyone else making mention of it either).
Starting about 3 years ago though, each time we met for Thanksgiving, Cheryl started pointing out to me, personally, that she didn’t forget to make the green bean casserole. I didn’t understand her need to notify me of her meal contribution, but I often don’t understand my family so I always just nodded with a fake smile, said something like, “Oh, ok,” and left it at that. But then felt guilty passing over the casserole so spooned a small amount onto my plate to choke down. Last week’s holiday was no exception to this new green bean casserole reminder/guilt eating.
As dinner wound down we reminisced about Thanksgivings past, telling funny stories. Stories were shared about dropping platters of various parts of the Thanksgiving meal (surprisingly there have been many) and Cheryl shared one…About three years ago, while taking the green bean casserole out of the oven, she dropped it. After getting it all cleaned up, the meal was served – sans green beans of course. While we all ate, everyone oooh-ed and ahh-ed about the meal as we usually do. Then I shockingly chimed in with something sarcastic like, “It’s just too bad there isn’t any green bean casserole.” Since then, Cheryl has made it her mission to make sure this dish was served because I LIKED IT SO MUCH.
Mystery solved! And for my penitence I have to eat a spoonful of that darn casserole for the rest of my life.
Can you imagine what it would be like for the green bean chick. And god help her if she's in any way competitive for she'd be playing a game she could never win. Oh deary, and her poor fella. Can you imagine his poor ear. It must've got some beating three years ago.
ReplyDeleteFind something in the soup that you can become spontaneously allergic. There's bound to be something like MSG you can happily forego for the remainder of your life. But let them know now, then it will become 'known' as things percolate through families. So, people will nod when you don't shovel the stuff onto your plate.
Oh you've hit the nail on the head. She's exactly how you've described and has worn my cousin down to a shell of a person at this point..of course it takes two, but still.
DeleteAn allergy is a good way to go. I wonder if I can take it a step further and find I'm allergic to certain members of the family. ;)
That kind of dynamic can work really well but there tends to be at least one area where she sees him as her better, at least in her mind. It could be something like him getting down on the floor playing with their kids.
DeleteHmmmm, I don't know...I guess if it works for them. It's easy for me to look in and judge, but small doses of the situation is about all I can handle.
DeleteThe problem is if there isn't a balance somehow it can tip into something very like abuse.
DeleteOh I agree. Ya know, again, it's easy to judge looking into someone's relationship. But sometimes it's so much easier to see it from the outside. People get in their habits and have their usual reactions so nothing changes.
DeleteOh my, I think it will be my penitence to always have to spoon down my sister in law's green rice casserole because I asked her to bring it once to dinner. She always volunteers to bring it and while it is tasty enough it is way too filled with things that are not good for you.
ReplyDeleteIsn't it funny how deep these family things go. If it were anyone else I'd just be honest and tell them. With family, there's such a different dynamic. If I ever said anything it'd be gossiped about for, well forever probably. It's easier just to choke the stuff down frankly.
DeleteYou are so funny that really made me laugh re the Green Bean casserole and your replies to the comments, you have a good sense of humour.
ReplyDeleteHa ha, well I try. :).
DeleteThat damn bean casserole sure makes it around...my mom used to make it and then pass it around proudly as we all declined..."more for me," she would say! Ghak!
ReplyDeleteOnce she told my 14 year old niece, "Have some...you used to eat it!" And my niece replied, "Yes, then again I used to eat dirt too...."
So sorry you have to eat a little each year....and you have learned to keep your mouth shut!!!
Ha ha, isn't it just awful...blech!
DeleteOh my gosh! That is hilarious. I ordered our dinner from Wegman's grocery store this year. It was just going to be Gary, Kaish and my parents and I had about 6 sessions to edit, so I knew I wouldn't have time (or the desire) to cook : ). The next day we went to my Mom's for the real food and it was delicious. My Mom loves that casserole. Wegman's gave us Green Bean Almondine which I thought was much better!
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