Friday, April 27, 2012

Porn Club, I Mean, Book Club

For about 9 years, my friends and I have been part of a book club.  We have read some wonderful, quality books.  One of the best parts of book club is I’ve read books that I’d never have chosen, and really enjoyed them.  This month’s book would not have been one I would have read on my own.  When 50 Shades of Grey by EL James was announced in March I had not heard too much about it. 

166266021By the time I finished the book, just about every morning and afternoon talk show had done a story on it.  50 Shades has become a “Mommy Porn” sensation.  Women from all walks of life are touting it as the spark they’ve needed in the bedroom.  I won’t go too much into the content of the book because there are summaries and reviews all over the internet, but what I will say is the quality of writing leaves much to be desired (no pun intended) and it is sooooooo DIRTY – S&M kind of dirty!

In the past, we have read some racy books for book club – Wifey a few years ago and Tommy’s Tale last year are the memorable ones.  If those two books were racy, this 50 Shades is basically porn. 

Three members of my book club are dear friends of mine.  We’re very comfortable talking about pretty much anything on a regular basis.  The other four members of the group are good work friends, but I wouldn’t say I’m an open book with them.  I’m no prude, but the impending book club meeting was certain to be of a personal nature.  I wasn’t so sure how comfortable I was sharing, or possibly over-sharing, and maybe offending.  Then the invite/reminder email arrived from our host-with-the-most…
Jacob -  I don't know about the rest of you, but I'm feeling fifty shades of horny after reading this!  So let's get together and talk about that, among other things.  Just when you think we've talked about everything there is to possibly talk about in our book club, we come across fifty shades of unchartered territory!  Due to the nature of this distinguished piece of literature, the venue has been changed.  I would be fifty shades of horrified to be discussing these things with my in-laws and my son in the house.  I could send them away, but only for so long---certainly not long enough for us to really satisfy our needs.  Alex has graciously volunteered her home to be the Red Room of Pain, seeing as Rick only stands to get richer with this topic being discussed under his roof. So...your homework assignment is to bring your favorite S&M toy to share with the group.  Anyone who does not complete this assignment will be spanked.  HARD. See you at Thursday at 6:00! 

And then the following email exchange ensued
Mick -
BRING my favorite toy? BRING? Really?! 
And who is doing the spanking? 
Me - Ummmm I don't want Mick to bring his toy anymore!  :)
Alex - Unused!!!!!!!
Kristy - I guess  I will have to make a stop at the hardware store to pick up my supplies for the evening.  See you then.
Betty – Maybe I don’t NEED a favorite toy. :)
Tad - I have my attorney working on the Non Disclosure Agreement that I expect you all to sign upon my arrival.
Me – Ha ha ha!  Good one Tad
Tad -  I know it was your keyboard making a typo.  You intended to call me SIR.
Me - Oh dear!  Does that mean I’m getting spanked for that too!?!?!  ;) 
Jacob - YES.  Everyone is getting spanked, and I am doing the spanking because I get off on your pain.....I'm a bit perplexed though.  You know how I often like to read the dirty parts of our books out loud?  I don't think we have enough time for me to read the WHOLE BOOK out loud.  And we thought Tommy's Tale was dirty.  And we thought WIFEY was dirty!
Alex -  For those that need items I have extras!

And the evening went from there.  I must say it was quite an eye opening and informative evening.  We always have fun, but this book is so over-the-top, book club was a riot! 

Is 50 Shades of Grey on your reading list?

* Names have been (slightly) changed to protect the innocent (or the guilty).

23 comments:

  1. I am afraid I would have missed that evening of discussion.

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  2. All this and not one photo of the evening? I'm pissed! You seriously should be spanked!
    m.

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    1. @mark - it sounds like you've read the book! :). I'd say pictures are a "hard limit" for me.

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  3. I'd been a bit iffy about this but once you've read Marcus Aurelius describe sex as nothing more that friction on a bit of gut and Apuleius start a novel -the first ever- with reference to the debauchery of Rhodes then earthy descriptions can get quite beautiful.
    Who on earth would have juxtaposed a bird taking flight and a woman presenting her sex in a simile, today. Or men flocking about a lovely woman like flies over a pail of milk. And that one is so loaded once you rotate it about in the mind, milk going sour really quickly being but one. Basically the Cherry Blossom Festival in Japan.
    I've found as long as you can find reference older than you are you'll be grand. There's less chance then that one can be assumed to have undertook the R&D yourself.

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  4. @Vince - I've not read either. Maybe it's late, but I tried to keep up until you got to the cherry blossoms...huh? And what is R&D?

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  5. @Vince - Oh, wait! Cherry blossoms in Japan – beautiful but the beauty is short lived? Did I figure it out? :)

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  6. Yep, you don't go far wrong with either Japan Rome or Athens thinking that the experience of beauty as a poignant little death, since you'll never see/feel it again. Ditto the sexual act (done well of course).

    R&D; [chuckle] research and developement. Adding pages to the Karma Sutra or a Japanese 'pillow book'.

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  7. Forked willows bend,
    birds takes the air,
    to the caress of the
    North Wind.

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    1. @vince - not quite as in your face as this book, but sometimes subtle is just as effective.

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  8. HAven't read it but I can only imagine your book club! What a riot! Did you see Ellen reading an excerpt? Hysterical!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=on3JCwnwHbU

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    1. @jill - ha ha ha! That was funny and so true. I've been reading it on my iPhone because there was not a copy to be found at the stores. I had about 400 iPhone pages left to read the day of book club so while my student teacher was doing a lesson I sat at my desk trying to get through it. It seemed so wrong reading this very graphic book in my 2nd grade classroom! :)

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    1. @bd - right!?!? Just a heads up that it's actually a trilogy, and the first book ends so abruptly. As bad as it was, I'm dying to find out what happens!!!

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  10. It's on my list now! And I want to be a part of your book group!

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    1. @kelly - an opening in our bookclub is quite a coveted spot due to the intellectual nature of the meetings - clearly demonstrated in this post. You'll be added to the waiting list. ;)

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  11. I just started hearing about the book and have had a few good friends tell me the writing isn't all that great. Obviously, the writer has hit gold though. It appears the mommies want porn.

    I might enjoy full transcript of your book club.

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    1. @mami - "Alex" had recorded an interview with the author for us to watch at b.c. Even she admits that the writing is bad - she seemed almost embarrassed by the book's success as it started out as just fan fiction on the Internet.

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  12. Ha! What a fun group! You're a lucky girl. I wish I belonged to such a fun book club.

    And that Jacob guy sounds like so much fun.

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  13. I am guessing it will be a series on Showtime soon.

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  14. And that "Jacob" sounds like a filthy bugger!!

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  15. @Hula - Yes, he's definitely the worst! You should hear the things he says to me! :)

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