Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Writer's Workshop #1...Mommy Play Dates

Becky at Life With Kaishon has been urging me to try Writer's Workshop over at Mama's Losin' It. Each week for the last several months I somehow missed it and then it was too late and, well, whatever, I just didn't do it. I think it's a grand idea as often I want to blog, but I just can't think of something interesting enough to write about. Tonight I got home with some spare time and visited "Mama". After reading the prompts, I have chosen the "Mommy Play Dates" prompt.

I am not a mother, nor do I plan to be, however I have been on a lot of play dates. I can count on one hand the number of close friends that I have who are not parents. Therefore most of my time with my friends includes time with their children. It's fine with me, but every-so-often it's nice to go out without kids. I would think it would be for the parents too.

A few years back some friends decided to have a "girls' night out" monthly bunco group. One of my closest friends invited me to join them. I was thrilled because a night out with the girls, without kids...well I was just as excited as the moms were. Two or three of the group are pretty down to earth people and when they are not around their kids, they do fine, they can talk about adult things other than their kids. If you play bunco though, you know that two or three are not nearly enough to play the game. The remaining 8 members of the group reside in a very snooty neighborhood in town which I will call "Agrestic". For those who watch Weeds, you'll know exactly where I'm talking about. These ladies are all very nice people. They are not good friends but more like acquaintances. It took me a few meeting times to get to know them better, but as I did I realized that even though these ladies did not physically bring their kids to bunco, the kids were there just the same.

I've never talked about other people's kids so much in my life, and I'm a teacher, so that's saying something. "Would you like another glass of wine?" "Yes!!!! And keep them coming!" When these women found out I am a teacher in the same school district as their kids and knew their kids' teachers I had to start bringing my own bottle...with a straw. In addition, bunco was on Fridays and after teaching all day, I was in no mood to go out and talk about kids into the evening.

After about a year and a half, a lot of wine, and a lot of "most buncos" I hung up my dice. I need to find some more childless friends! (no offense to my with child friends - I love you all very much, I'm just sayin')


  1. It's funny- my closest girlfriend is single, childless. We also work together. And we talk about my kids a lot (she's their "aunt") but we also talk about a lot of things that have NOTHING to do with my kids.

    The next time you are in that situation, see what taboo topics you can bring up to try and steer into non-kid convo. Like sex. Or getting drunk. Or hook ups with strangers... the real entertainment comes as some of these moms will find any possible way to steer those topics back to their kids! Ha!

  2. PS I had a caprese salad yesterday and thought of you!

  3. Totally agree. I hate talking about other people's kids . . . My own child, however . . . =)

    My wife and I were married for 10 years before having a child. The moment one of our friends had a kid, they fell off our radar. If we were unlucky enough to spend time with them, all we could do afterwards is gripe about how badly mannered their kids were. I've since apologized to many of those people for the horrible things I said about them on the car ride home.

    And yes, you definitely need childless friends!

  4. I think everyone agrees with you to some degree. With that being said, when it comes to your own children the rules go out the window.

    I think parents are wired to have their children constantly on their minds, but would be willing to change subjects if they knew how!

    You might have to initiate the change by telling them about your dog. Everyone can relate to cute dogs!

    Oh, and did I tell you what my granddaughter did yesterday.......:)

  5. My bff doesn't have kids... I think she feels the same way sometimes.

  6. HEre from Mama Kat's- I guess we all have fitting in struggles. You finding a childless friend or two in your age group, and me finding someone who has a large family, and still stays home. Just hand in there. And remember what help you did give, though you seemed to get little in return.

  7. Love the Writer's Workshop idea!

    Hmmmm, more friends without kids....well, it looks like you're living in the wrong town.

    Maybe you could move to Agrestic? Oh, wait. No.

  8. Jeez. Are we still friends? I do live over the train tracks and all.

  9. LOL Just last night I was watching the tv show Cybil (again referring my Lifetime TV DVD collection) and Cybil had lunch with an old friend who had two young kids.

    They went to a nice restaurant and the kids were banging on the table and asking repeatedly if something was blue.

    But I should say that I don't have any kids that are eitehr biological or that I have raised since youngsters, and I neither have that drive to talk about kids.

    But I think that something changes when one has or raises them from chicks, and it becomes all consuming.

    I, of course, have no idea what I talking about, or any scientific proof.

    All I know is that Perth is place where 32,000% of the population have young families and I am always getting run down by mothers in track suits and pony tails pushing their 3 year olds around in baby buggies with wheels the size of monster truck.

  10. Love the post! I once offended a stay at home mom once because I talked about work, my career, etc. She said I had no respect for the SAHM. I told her no, that is not it, we just don't have anything in common to talk about! You make babyfood all day, I write grants and do marketing! So needless to say we don't talk and to this day I have been deemed in her blogs, as one who thinks stay at home moms are a burden on their husbands (WHICH I NEVER SAID)!

  11. Writer's Workshop? Oooo shiny.

    Every so often it is nice for parents to go out without kids, or taking about them. Hmmmm. I should call a sitter right now!


  12. Pumpkin! You came. You joined. I am so flipping excited : ) Someone I know! Someone COOL that I know. Wow.

    Now, I don't know what Bunco is. And I don't watch that show but I can just imagine how those mothers are. I try not to talk about Kaish when I go out. I mean, I love the little bugger with all my heart, but seriously, does anyone want to hear about him every second? I mean if they did, well, they would just read my blog : ).

    So, I am glad you quit the group.

    If you do ever have a kid someday, you will definitely relish time not talking or thinking about them sometimes. 99% of the time is delightful but really, you will need that 1% to rejuvinate : )