Sunday, September 23, 2012

Thoughts, On the First Day of My 39th Year

  • MOTHER EFFER!!!!
  • Earlier this week a cashier at the store finished my transaction and said, “Here you go ma’am,” when she handed me my receipt.  I squinted at her and quietly said thank you.  In my head though, I growled in a Freddy Krueger voice, “DON’T CALL ME MA’AM!”
  • Nine years ago I was a mess.  That number 30 hit me so hard.  With 40 just 365 days away, I’m waiting for a break down.  That number is harsh!  In some ways, I’m in a much better place than I was way back then, but in other ways I’m in the exact same place.  So far I haven’t had a meltdown about it, but that remains to be seen as it gets closer.
  • The first day of fall usually lands on my birthday.  I’ve always thought that was fitting since it’s my favorite season…I mean it would be if we actually had a fall.  It’s still over 100 degrees, and I’m so over it.  I was told the forecast shows temps in the 80s this week.  Oh I hope so because the heat is making me cranky.
  • Some of my friends took great care of me this weekend with good movies, food, and company.  Although, what I really should have done was go work at school.  I can’t seem to catch up.  “It feels like I’ve never taught 2nd grade before!” I lamented while lying down with exhaustion in the booth at dinner the other night.  “How is that possible?” someone asked.  “I don’t know!  But THAT is what’s happening.”  With the exception of a couple of combos, I’ve taught 2nd grade for 13 years with a high level of proficiency and efficiency.  Instead, I’m a complete scatterbrain this year.  I’ve heard that happens as one ages.    
  • Yesterday, my mother sent me a text asking me if I’d be home today so she could call me on my birthday.  I guess that’s an improvement over last year when she sent me birthday wishes via Facebook. 
  • I bought some pillows yesterday.  As I wheeled them in a cart out to the car this older gentleman stopped me and, in a British accent, said, “Those are great pillows!”  “Oh, ya?” I asked him.  “We bought them last week,” he answered, “And my wife still hasn’t gotten out of bed.”  That kind of made my day.  I’m still laughing about it this morning.

Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.  -Mark Twain

10 comments:

  1. May you have a spectacular year! I freaked at 30, but at 40 I was fine.

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    1. Thank you! Ya, so far there's no pit in my stomach when I think about it like there was at 30. It's more like Oh no! Oh whatever. :)

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  2. It really is hard to know what to say to you.

    I'll come at it this way. At 20, you don't have a clue, you don't know that, but it is true. You can be so certain about virtually everything. At 30, the freakout has that delusion of the dream you had at 20 even though you may generally be quite happy otherwise. You know the things you are suppose to do a bit like a baby hitting the milestones. At 40, you'll know that to get to an aim you do it bit by bit. You no longer place insane expectations on yourself. And you realise that a series of small wins is a better way to go about things.
    Anyhoos, a big squeezey hug.

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    1. Thanks Vince! I like that last bit about the small wins. What's funny is I feel like maybe I should be freaking out, but I'm not for some reason. ;)

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  3. Heck with the convoluted way you went about this you hid the fact you had a birthday.
    HAPPY BIRTHDAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY
    HHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPPPBIIIRRRRRTTTTHHHHHDDDDDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYY

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    1. Ha ha, what do you mean I hid it?!?! I thought that's what the "hug" was for. :)
      But yes, today, 9/23. Thank you!

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  4. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!

    Old...39 no way!! I threw a giant 40th party for myself in the Tiki Room when I turned 40...and did the same for 50...never felt old until the "younger" teachers ditched me on the subway in New York last summer...when I first began teaching the district hadn't hired in years...all my co-workers were a few years from retiring and I was 25...but I hung out with them and sucked up all their teaching experiences...and loved each of them...we even drank martinis in the principal's office- before the alcohol/tobacco ban of course- and I never thought of them as "old." I feel sorry for those teachers...I can out run, bike and teach all 3 of them and have a lot to offer teaching wise...and it is sad to me that that is what it took to make me feel old. My own daughters and their friends are more than happy to meet me for happy hour or go for a 50 mile bike ride or vacation with us....so there bitches!! you're only as old as you want to be...so stay in bed with all those pillows and enjoy what's left of the weekend and then go kick some 2nd grade teaching @ss!! Whew...thanks for letting me vent!!
    Again...enjoy the birthday thoroughly...and I wish I could send you this fall weather we are having!

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    1. Ha! You're a riot. It does get to a point that the age of your friends is no longer an issue. Mine range from 20s to 60+, and I have great fun with each and every one of them. You're right about only being as old as you want to be and I think that's what I'm grappling with most. I feel NOWHERE near 39, but here I am...39! But to be perfectly honest, it falling on my self-imposed Sunday day of rest has made me overthink it to death. If it fell yesterday or tomorrow I probably wouldn't have paid much attention to it.

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