My Pants Are On Fire, Revealed

So, Jason promised me gobs of witty comments on this post, but that didn't happen. Just my most faithful readers made witty comments. I won't make YOU wait any longer...

My truth is........#1!!!

I once hitch hiked to a party carrying a case of beer.

Yes, that's right. When I was a sophomore in college I went to visit some friends at UCSB. One of our nights included dinner at Woodstocks with some friends and then a late night party on Del Playa. On the way to dinner, we decided to pick up some beer at the liquor store. A friend with the fake ID drove us and bought it for us. However, that friend had to leave and couldn't drive us to dinner or the party with the beer. That left us kind of stranded as walking around IV underage with a case of beer can land you in the clinker. Let me back track a bit and tell you that my friend Robyn and I were NEVER trouble makers or did anything really bad as teenagers. We rode our horses and knew that one screw up meant they were gone, so in college (after the parents made us sell our horses) we spread our wings a bit. I digress, the point is is that we couldn't go anywhere with this case of beer. As we figured out what to do (we couldn't call anyone because back in the day there were no cell phones, I mean there were but they were the size of real phones) these two guys walked out of the liquor store towards their car parked out front. "Can you give us a ride?" we asked. They were surprised and then looked at two college sophomores carrying a case of beer and said they would. They got out of their car and let us in the backseat. After I climbed in, Robyn told the passenger she wanted to ride in the front. Afterwards she told me she did that in case something went wrong, she could get out easier. Oh, good thinking...hey wait a minute. The ride was rather uneventful other than my backseat mate had a nasty surfing gash on the side of his leg that kept rubbing up against me. They drove us up to our friend's house who was having the party. They let us out, we thanked them, and walked to the door as they drove away. This is actually the funnier part of the story. It was still early when we got there as we were going to meet people for dinner, so when we got there our friend wasn't there and neither were any of his roommates. So we were in the same predicament. By this time, we were so sick of this case of beer we decided to hide it in the bushes outside of his house and we left for dinner. After dinner we went back to the row-house and there were all sorts of people mingling outside. We jogged up to the bushes and the other party goer's had looks of shock on their faces as we pulled the case of beer out of the bushes and walked inside.

2. For about 10 years my entire family spent Thanksgiving in Hawaii and we roasted a pig instead of a turkey.

The only truth to this one is that my family did go away every year for Thanksgiving for about 10 years, but it was to Las Vegas. We didn't have pig, but instead cooked turkey rolls in the campers. If we were lucky everyone would join us for TG dinner, but most of the time my the adults were too busy gambling and drinking. Remind me to tell you about the year my grandmas called the cops because their ice bucket had been stolen. Yah, that's right, we just recently became classy travelers Grandma J.

3. I once sat next to Robert DeNiro at a hockey game. When the Kings scored a goal he jumped out of his seat and spilled his beer on me.

My family had Kings' season seats for many years while I was growing up. I HAVE had numerous beers dumped on me, but by guys named Bubba and Earl, since our seats were nowhere near where RDN would sit. I figured if I had written that one of my boyfriends Hugh or George spilled their beer on me, you'd totally think it was true, I mean a lie.