Thursday, February 4, 2010

10 Mom Things

Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop prompt this week is “10 Things You Never Knew Until You Were a Mom”. Since I’m not a mom, I’m going to adjust it a little bit. Instead, my list is…

“10 Things I Know About Being A Mom That Make Me Not Want To Be A Mom”
1. You have to push it out your “hoo haw”.
2. There are many gross physical things that happen due to #1. i.e. episiotomy, hemorrhoids, etc.
3. The terrible twos or threes
4. Teenagers
5. Babies cry and cry and wake you up multiple times in the night
6. “Me time” is very, very limited
7. Children, no matter how well behaved, whine, cry, and have temper tantrums in places like the grocery store.
8. Having to ask the father to “babysit”, even though he’s the father
9. Worrying about raising a considerate, productive human being in a world that is full of people who want something for nothing and are often less than considerate.
10. Did I mention teenagers?

I love kids, other people’s kids most of them anyways. The nice thing about spending time with other people’s kids is that they live and are taken care of by other people. I’m not mother material, and I’m ok with that.


  1. 1. agreed! and i dont have a hoo-haw!

    6. not 'limited'...more like nonexistant...

    8. hey...we all arn't like that! then again...

    well done. you clearly have a grip on this subject matter. (stopped by from mamakat)

  2. HEY! I should have read this post 10 years ago..then maybe...oh who am I kidding I never listen.. haha.

    You've got great points, although I got lucky and have never asked the Hubs to babysit. I usually run screaming out the door that it's his then it's too late to protest. :)

    Visiting from Mama Kat's

  3. thanks for your comment.
    You have a very nice blog.
    You must be Irish.
    I had never heard that from Freud before, but I'm Irish enough to believe it.
    I've no kids either, and don't regret missing all the things you mentioned.

  4. Numbers 2, 6 and 8 are the reason I don't have kids.

  5. I totally agree with this list.

  6. If it makes you feel better, my first never had terrible two's or threes. I won't mention my second child. None of them have ever thrown a tantrum in a store. Thank heavens. Totally agree with number 9. The rest isn't so bad - well it is but it isn't. Of course the teenager things scared the heck out of me with three girls.

  7. I Love reading your posts from the childless point of view. They're funny and painfully true!

  8. : ) Well, I could dispute much of the list, but I also know that I was damn lucky with my daughter!

    However she did cry at night, a lot!! All night!

    I failed at number one, resulting in a c-section! I am actually grateful that I missed out on number 2's things!!

  9. I admire you for feeling the way you do. My sister is like that. She is so good with kids but doesn't want any and is happy that way. I think it's great!

  10. Before having a child, I would have agreed with everyone of them. In fact, I agree with all of them today! And I'm still happy I'm a father.

    What I hated most about people with kids is when they would say, "You can't understand until you have one."

    Now I'm one of those people. =)

  11. Every single one of these is absolutely right. The one that is hardest for me is the "me time" one. That hoo-haw thing was pretty easy for me.

    Oh, wait. I'm not a mother either.

  12. Oh that asking the father to babysit cracked me up. I always felt so bad when I would want to go out and leave him with the boys...don't know why!

  13. The hoo-haw passage is an especially big consideration in all of this.

    Thanks for stopping by my blog.

  14. The hemorrhoids come even before you push the little bugger out.

  15. True, true. But there is lots of good stuff too!

    I do miss my me time. ;(

  16. The thing is Pumpkin, once you have one, all those lists of things you don't want to deal with go right out the window. Seriously, right out of it.

    I had this male friend that was horrified of having a child. I mean horrified. He liked kids, but other peoples NOT his. His girlfriend got pregnant and he was seriously afraid he would be the worst Dad in the world. He just did NOT want a kid.

    And now, he is like the most loving, doting father in the world. He wants more. He loves his kid so much it would make you sick. So, all that to say, you just never know. : )