David Lettermen has gotten himself into a bit of trouble over the last week. If you haven’t been following the news, here’s a quick rundown. Earlier this year Dave married a long time girlfriend who he has a son with. Just last week, he announced that he had been unfaithful (gasp!) with women from his staff and last month he was a victim of extortion over these affairs. Of course, since his announcement and recent apology his ratings have gone through the roof (gosh, I love America). So here I’m hoping to capitalize on his misfortune and see if my ratings too go through the roof too.
Top Ten Things I’d Rather Do Than Have Sex With David Letterman…*
10. Talk to a 1-800 customer service representative
9. Listen to someone spread mayo on a piece of bread
8. Have sex with George Clooney
7. Tie a 2nd grader's untied shoelaces
6. Clean my kitchen floors
5. Sit in a staff meeting while my boss pulls on his neck.
4. Have sex with Hugh Jackman
3. Drive on the 405, anytime of day
2. Watch golf on television
And the
#1 thing I’d rather do than have sex with David Lettermen …
Have sex with Gerard Butler
*There are a few that I’d really rather do. Can you guess which ones?
So funny, and I'm with you on 3 of those...
ReplyDeleteNice!! I especially like the mayo one... ha ha ha!! :)
ReplyDeleteI agree...except for the one about sitting on the 405.
ReplyDeletelol, i confess i thought i was going to be visiting a crockpot recipe that had pumpkin in it...but this was MUCH better! i love that you used your porn star name as your bloggy title. (mine is Snickers Page, not so much.)
ReplyDeleteas for the list, 3 of 10 are yummy than any crockpot recipe!
tara on the wander
Niiiice! I would rather clean the garage than have sex with Letterman...but if Clooney, Jackman, Butler or Denzel Washington were anywhere close by...the garage can wait!
ReplyDeletehaha...there is a lot of good sex options in there. LOL.
ReplyDeletelisten to someone spread mayo though made me laugh OUT loud.
So I was nominated for a little award and the rules of the award were to nominate other blogs I had recently discovered. So I discovered you. ;) And nominated you.
ReplyDeleteI've also sort of heard about you around town, yanno... cause I read The Jason Show and as you know, he speaks very highly of you.
I'd rather do just about anything than have sex with David Letterman. Yikes.
#7 was my fav. I worked in Kindergarten and when a kid need their shoe tied I would say, "Who would like to show me how to tie a shoe?" I never tied their shoes - so gross.
ReplyDeleteGreat list.
Wait. Sexy with Hughies ranked BELOW watching golf on TV????????????????????
ReplyDeleteDoes spreading mayo on bread have a sound??? Or is the clinking sound made by knife hitting the side of the glass jar?
Does your boss *really* pull on his neck?
ReplyDelete(***shiver***) Yech.
Um, yeah, all the sex ones! You dirty girl.
ReplyDeleteOMG now that's too funny! I was just looking at the article in the newspaper this morning and I said to my husband, "Now what young thing would sleep with David Letterman?!" and then I read your post tonight and LAUGH! And I will be sitting on I-5 in L.A. tomorrow night...but I would rather be there than sleeping with Letterman!
ReplyDeleteHappy FRIDAY!
lMnop
Okay, #10 really cracked me up!
ReplyDeleteI love the alternative sex options!
ReplyDeleteWow, he's..brilliant. I'm loving your alternatives though.
ReplyDeleteI was so confused at first. I was like, Why would any one NOT want to have sex with George Clooney... : ) and now I get it!
ReplyDeleteI felt the same way about his ratings. Like how in the world can so many people be celebrating this. He had TONS OF AFFAIRS. It makes me mad kind of.
Hysterical. Good one, Pumpkin!!
ReplyDelete