Saturday, October 31, 2009

All Your Mayonnaise Questions Answered

A couple of weeks ago I wrote about my mayo issues. Some of you had questions about this issue. I wanted to take a moment to answer those…

Hula Hank wondered if I should have “mayo submersion therapy”. To that, I say “Blech!”

Teacher Tom asked, “Do you like Miracle Whip? Tartar Sauce? Ranch? Or does your dislike apply to all creamy condiments?” To me Miracle Whip and Mayo are the same thing, so that’s a no to miracle whip. I do not like Tartar Sauce or Ranch dressing. Neither have the effect on me like mayo, but they are still pretty gross. White condiments are a bit of a problem for me except for one…blue cheese dressing. I love that stuff.

g asked, “Have you ever tried REAL homemade mayo? You could call it something else. Or is that even grosser?” Yah, that’s pretty gross. I know it’s just eggs and oil, but, ugh, even thinking about making my own mayo made me throw up in my mouth a little bit.

Kelly wondered about “mustard!?!?” I can do honey mustard sometimes. I don’t like regular yellow mustard. I’m a ketchup girl.

If you like mayo, you don’t know the problems that I encounter at catered lunches (which I often attend at school functions). I always find myself asking this question in a whiney voice, “Why can’t they just leave the mayo off the sandwiches. You can always add it, but you can’t take it off.” And then I pout. Sometimes these lunches are like a mayonnaise party. I don’t like those kind of parties.


  1. Fair enough, PD.

    Maybe you should put in a request for more "ethnic" catering, you know, in the interest of cultural diversity. The side-effect is that you don't find lots of mayo in Asian, African, Mexican or South American food.

    Just trying to be helpful. I hated creamy white things in my youth so I can sympathize.

  2. One thing that still bewilders me is that you love bleu cheese sooooo much.....but it is mostly mayonnaise. You do realize that, right? Or did I just ruin it for you?

  3. I have never thought of throwing a mayo party before. I like it!

    Everyone can dress in theme as jars of mayo or knives with mayo on them... or their favourite mayo by-product, like potato salad or cole slaw or tuna salad.

    Could you be tempted with a bleu cheese sandwich that had some mayo on it? Even if it is was the last peice of bleu cheese left in the entire world?

    What are your feelings about butter?

    Why I ask because a sandwich without mayo would be pretty dry, especially if it was a left-over turkey sandwich.

    Down here they put butter on every single sandwich you could possibly think of (which actually drives me insane as I hate butter on sandwiches).

    So would butter provide a possible mayo substitute for a sandwich or is that too much like being a vegetarian then eating soy bacon that is made to look like real bacon?

    Or I suppose even a turkey sandwich with bleu cheese dressing. That would be tasty and a nice substitute (or anti-dryness agent, if you will).

    But I suppose that with dry turkey sandwiches, there are other options to mayo, like cranberry sauce and brie (but I find the whole cranberry on turkey sandwiches thing a bit unoriginal)or gravy or a nice seeded mustard (but not ketchup, well unless it is a turkey burger, but we are talking about leftover roast turkey here) or how about a nice quince paste... that would be pretty good.

    Of course with ham sandwiches, there are less condiment options when one excludes mayo.

    But ham doesn't tend to be as dry as leftover turkey, so one could just eat a ham and swiss cheese sandwich without an anti-dryness agent and still be satisfied.

    So tell us, Pumpkin, what is your favourite type of sandwich?

  4. Can youplease stop writing about mayo. Seriously.

  5. As much as I love mayo, I agree with you it can be added later to the sandwiches served at a public function. However, if there wasn't any mayo available to add, I would be very sad indeed!

    I think I've said this before, but just love Hula Hank's comments.

  6. Plain mayo makes me ill. I don't enjoy miracle whip either. Ranch dressing doesn't bother me so much though. I just pretend it is not mayo based. I am VERY mature like that!

  7. I love love love mayo and it makes me sad that you don't. I can no longer read your blog. I'm just so dismayed...

    Thankfully, you redeemed yourself by expressing your adoration for bleu cheese dressing. So I guess I'll stick around!

  8. They should leave the condiments off sandwiches at catered luncheons. You CAN always add it.

    Is blue cheese dressing made with sour cream or mayo or both? Now I MUST know. Off to Google!

  9. I don't have as strong an aversion to mayo as you do, but I prefer to do without and I don't understand why it is always included in sandwiches unless you ask for it not to be. Sandwiches don't need to have mayo. Oh, but you are wrong about one thing: if mayo is evil, them Miracle Whip is vile. Miracle Whip is worse than mayo; it's mayo's tacky cousin that puts on too much make up, talks too loud, and is generally too much.