This is a poem I wrote a few years back shortly after my dad died. It’s “me” in a nut shell.
Random Autobiography
I was born in September.
I always hated that!
Always the youngest, the last to be 16, 18 and 21.
With blonde hair and blue eyes I’ve been told I look like my Dad by some and my mom by others.
Wanting to keep me safe on a weekend camping trip my parents tied two inner tubes together and set me inside. By Sunday morning I knew how to walk. I learned to ride horses shortly after.
Spending hours at the barn taking care of my horse, never wanting to go home. I slammed my finger in the front door while running outside to show my Dad how I could ride my bike and I broke my left arm in two places roller skating backwards at the Skatin’ Place. But I never injured myself riding horses.
My family has driven to Arkansas, twice, on family vacations and I have stood in both Texas and Arkansas at the same time. I think that is where I learned the art of eye rolling.
We went to the Grand Canyon and after looking over the edge, we turned around and left after hearing the news that the Colorado River was flooding. I’ve shoveled sand into sandbags to keep it from flooding a friend’s home.
As a 4th grader, I watched my teacher have a nervous breakdown over a bad boy who I thought was cute (which, turns out, is a pattern for me) and nearly had a nervous breakdown of my own when my Dad was my math teacher in 6th grade. I watched the Challenger blow apart in mid air on television in junior high science class and baby mice being born in 10th grade biology.
At 17, I moved from California to the New Hampshire seacoast to attend college and ended up staying on the East Coast until I was 25; also living in Providence and Boston.
My car was buried for a week under 4 feet of snow in an April Fool’s Day storm.
And I have sat in obstructed view seats watching the Bruins at the “real” Boston Garden – totally worth it.
I’ve eaten the best ever Italian food alongside mobsters on Federal Hill in Rhode Island, sipping limoncello as an after dinner drink.
I’ve kayaked on Keleakua Bay in Hawaii with spinner dolphins and snorkeled with sea turtles.
I spent a summer traveling around Ireland. “Gotta do 10 or do it again,” was our motto when pubbing in Dublin. We did it again even after doing ten.
I’ve cruised the South of France and long to go back to London’s busy city streets. Africa was a trip of a lifetime and driving around Italy for 3 weeks is my definition of heaven. I carry a list of the top 50 places I want to travel to around with me. Seven places have been checked off. Someday, I will cross off number 50 and start a new list.
I bought my first home at 28 and have learned to paint with color. There isn’t a white wall in the place. I have killed more hydrangeas than I care to admit, hoping to someday have a thriving (or even surviving) plant or two of them. I love having a backyard to sit in, but the upkeep has become the bane of my existence.
Teaching is my job, but often it feels like my life. I love kids, but not sure if I want any of my own. It might be selfish, but I like my free time too much.
Looking for the man of my dreams I’ve dated mostly nightmares. I’ve never liked the ones who are good for me and have fallen hard for the ones who aren’t.
If music played while life happened (like in the movies) I think the world would be a better place.
My Dad passed away recently. It’s hard. I am sad, but I don’t always have the time to be sad; worrying about my mom. But, this too shall pass. At least I hope so.
This post took my breath away....and it's not because I'm sick. I think I really know who Kim is.
ReplyDeleteThis is lovely, and very well put together. I enjoyed "going thru" your life with you.
ReplyDeleteI have no white walls in my house either; can't stand 'em!
I really liked this! Hugs to both you and your mom.
ReplyDeleteBeautifully written, PD. Thanks.
ReplyDeleteI like this. I want to say more, but I don't know how exactly. :)
ReplyDeleteYou are randomly wonderful.
ReplyDeleteOh Pumpkin.
ReplyDeleteYou have had a wonderful life.
I am sorry for the loss of your Dad.
I am sorry for your pain.
I am SO thankful you have your Mom.
I am so thankful you have a beautiful spirit that no one can ever take away.
I could say a lot but all I'll say is that
ReplyDeletereading that post just makes me miss you more.
I'm tearing.
ReplyDeleteMy Dad died too and I can really relate to the part you talk about worrying about your mom. It's so true.
ReplyDelete